How to help friends and family with anxiety

Anxiety and related conditions are often the sub-conscious being hyper-vigilant to any perceived threats in the environment. 

It’s important to recognise the person suffering anxiety can often feel like they are in two parts, the rational part who is able to see a situation logically and the anxious part of them which is giving them often extreme physical sensations and negative thoughts. This part can often feel overwhelming and causing them to feel ‘out of control’ and unable to cope. In some cases coping mechanisms can develop that are unhelpful such as using up anxious energy with ticks, nail biting or developing phobias.

Anxiety is actually a protective mechanism of the mind which is more common in periods when we feel particularly vulnerable. Vulnerable times can include events that have come as a shock such as grief, redundancy, relationship breakdown or difficulties, accidents and ill health.

During these times we are more sensitive to life’s pitfalls and as a solution, the subconscious attempts to be helpful by bringing to our attention things that may upset us as a sort of ‘threat-detection’ mechanism. For many , this threat detection includes thoughts of worry, catastrophising the worse-case-scenario and mind reading tendencies.

Here are some top tips to help the anxious person in your life…

1. Provide a safe space to talk and just ‘be’

We all feel better when we know we are safe. Let the anxious person know you are there for them to speak to in their own time and their own way. When they do speak, listen non-judgementally to what they have to say without offering solutions unless the person asks. Quite often just by talking through the anxiety out loud the person can come to their own understandings and just the space to talk openly is enough.

If you live with an anxious person, making a space that is peaceful and comforting can really help. A tidy home can offer a sense of clarity whilst welcoming and functional decor can offer peace of mind. Small home comforts go a long way in helping humans to feel secure and cared for in times of distress.

2. Create a positive space

Anxious people often suffer from being run-down as their bodies struggle to process stress chemicals. Any negativity, even small things like complaining about something on tv can cause a stress reaction and pump excess stress chemicals into the system.

Simple changes like talking more positively about your life and bringing attention to small things to be grateful for can make a big difference. It gives the body chance to recuperate and can help the person pick up positive thinking habits the more they spend time with you.

If there are negative issues that need to be discussed enter into conversations with constructive advice and helpful ideas for how to make things better.

Give this time though and don’t expect a change overnight.

3. Start Small

Anxiety generally makes our comfort zones smaller and some days just going out and to the shop feel like a big ask. It’s important to edge the comfort zone out bit by bit so allow the person to take small steps and grow back into confidence gradually. Use their own ideas for what feels like a challenge they can cope with. A small action for you may feel like moving a mountain to somebody in an anxious phase so be supportive of whatever they suggest as the next stepping stone.

4. Allow the person to find their own way if they choose to

Sometimes we want to help our loved ones so much that we can cause further stress by getting too involved in helping, advising and taking action. Something as simple as a hug or some kind words can be enough to show we care as many people with anxiety ultimatately find their own ways of managing it. Anxiety sufferers commonly worry about being a burden to their loved ones so offer compassion and invite them to come to you when they choose.

If you’re feeling like the anxious person in your life doesn’t want to connect, it can be useful to know that well behaved animals are a brilliant help to anxious people improving dopamine levels that combat stress. Pets and time spent around animals and nature can be hugely restorative and provide an excellent method of support when words aren’t helping.

5. Help the person gather resources to ride the storm

People with acute anxiety will tell you that although unpleasant, anxious feelings will only get a certain level before they plateau and then pass. Often people with anxiety are afraid of what will happen if it gets worse but it’s important to remember anxiety is a protective mechanism and is harmless. It can be helpful to allow the feeling to be there and run it’s course rather than fighting it.

Useful advice to sufferes can be to breathe, use a pattern interrupt technique such as EFT, imagine the thoughts being vacuumed away and even imagine being in a pleasant place until the feeling passes.

Guided meditations are useful for this, encourage the person to use apps such as Headspace or help them to find some meditations they like on YouTube or the internet.

Meditation benefits everyone so it could also be something you do together!

If you or a loved one if suffering with anxiety, hypnotherapy can help. As a therapist specialising in anxiety relief, I help people understand their own mental health to begin to feel in control of their emotions and responses. Get in touch with me for more or explore the website by visiting the home page.

How one Past Life Regression turned into an Out of this World Experience

‘There’s loads of colours… I feel like my eyes are already open… I’m on the road or… light… it’s a nice feeling… I feel like... I’m home.’’


past life regression thame oxfordshire

I’m blessed to be able to say past life regression is part of my day job. It’s endlessly fascinating to hear heartfelt stories about bygone times from ancient civilisations to more recent stories.

I’m often asked if it’s real or a product of our imagination. While nobody has a time machine to verify, I find it amazing how absorbed clients become in their past lives. During the experiences, they smile, laugh, and cry as if they are right there, living and breathing their past life. In fact, it’s not unusual for me to have to keep my emotions in check as clients shed tears or recount deep love for their past life families.

As a therapist, you become used to comments like: ‘I never expected that life to be me,’ or ‘that was incredible, who’d have thought?’ Responding with wisdom that, yes, most of us lived good regular lives as loving wives, husbands, parents and as ordinary workers. While there is often a message and a moral to these stories, even I was taken aback with Anthony’s regression.

Anthony’s Journey Begins

On a rainy November evening in 2017, Anthony came to see me at my Barnsley (now Thame, Oxfordshire) practice. He was somewhat spiritual having become interested following a nighttime experience he didn’t fully understand. I recognised this experience immediately as Astral Travel – commonly known an Out of Body Experience. He came to me looking for answers. Together, we embarked on a spiritual journey neither of us expected.

past life regression oxford

Anthony’s first life was as a young woman working as a simple baker, living in a tiny room home with her father and a dog. She became worried about the lack of grain in her mid-life before finding contentment after retraining as a seamstress (of leather or hide) in later life.

This life was typical of what I'd  witnessed many times. But it was his journeys between lives that held the most fascination.

Unlike most regressions where clients see themselves walking through a door and into the light, Anthony began describing his journey in surreal and abstract terms.

He described connecting with a yellow light energy that he described as ‘home’ and talked about the reason for this connection being to ‘rebalance’ to ‘recharge’.

Little known to Anthony, this is a phenomenon previously recorded in Doctor Brain Weiss’ bestselling book on regression, Many Lives, Many Masters.


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Anthony described being shown colourful ‘links on a chain’ and explaining to me that we are all links on this chain, echoing the words of many esoteric teachers describing the sensation of being ‘one’.

 Later, he described entering a dark space filled with bright light. When asked where it was coming from, he explained that the light was him, ‘it’s dark and I create.' he told me, 'I am the light.’

>>> Click for part two

A Past Life Regression that Proves Ancient Philophies : Part 2

>> Click to Read Part 1 Here <<

A Second Life That Surprised Us Both

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‘I see a pond, beautiful lilies and a dragonfly… I think I’m in it... I think I am the pond and everything in it…’ Anthony shared, before the vision gave way to planets and stars... He said he learned from his first life to 'value to simple things.' He said he was ready. It was time to move on...

past life regression oxfordshire

‘It’s all one... everything is one… the light… the gold… I think this pyramid… the connection… it’s …. even to this day… with skyscrapers… connection is … we’re all … one… I can see all the beams of light… ‘

Following his life of a simple baker, we found ourselves in ancient Egypt.

In this experience, Anthony was part of a religious ceremony. Here, a woman in a tall headdress came towards him with a ring-like jewel. She was being carried on a platform.

He became distracted by the ceiling of the building, explaining that he was experiencing a message, ‘It’s all one..' he said, ' everything is one… the light… the gold… I think this pyramid… the connection… it’s …. even to this day… with skyscrapers… connection is … we’re all … one… I can see all the beams of light… ‘

Back in the Egyptian building, we realized this event was a lavish affair. The man he felt he was, called Sam, smiled and welcomed guests while holding ‘two golden wings’ before being given ‘something gold… you would wear it on your neck … it was bestowed.’

When will the mysterious jewel be found?

When will the mysterious jewel be found?

Before leaving Egypt, Anthony confided that the woman’s jewel was underwater, that something had been protecting it but that it would soon be found.




An Unusual Ending to a Incredible Experience


past life regression near Milton Keynes

Anthony’s final vision was of himself as a diver. An instrument had failed him. He felt that his death had been inevitable.

Unfazed by drowning, Anthony became awe-stuck as he described the beautiful scenery of a coral reef as he rose from his body, watching his boat, then the shore, and the sunset before, rather than returning to the light, he found himself travelling very fast,

‘I don’t know where I’m again, I can see there’s a tunnel… like swirling clouds… the energy is intense... it’s white and black and … somebody’s just held my hand… It’s just pure energy… just a hand... I just see light now… loads of light… like white lava… I just feel pure…. I just see loads of colours and the universe and the universe is me… it’s us… it’s one… I feel like creation is just an idea… you and me we make our own light… create itself and… ‘Anthony returned.

Anthony’s unique experience may confirm a lot for many people, reassuringly piecing together our understanding of human reality and the ‘other’ . 

On a personal level, it offered wisdom and enlightenment on the oneness of this world and our potential as creators of our own destiny. It was certainly be a session I will never forget!

past life therapist


Have you been touched by the life experiences presented here? Do you have flashes or imagery of past lives you would like to unravel?

While I can’t promise you’ll have a regression as exciting as glimpses of the afterlife or a wedding ceremony in Ancient Egypt, nearly everybody finds it a unique and fulfilling experience.

I offer Past Life Regression both online and in person in my Thame, Oxfordshire practice. Get in touch for a free consultation


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